Cant Eat, Cant Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis Has F#$%*d Me

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There's no cure for CF, but I and many others would really like it if there was. While I truly and sincerely hope that CF is not the most interesting part of my life, it's probably the part that is most worth discussing. So, let's discuss. However, someone went through the trouble of doctoring up a birth certificate that discredits one of those events, so I have at least entertain the possibility that I was born in Connecticut on a night of indiscriminate weather in Early on in my attempt at living, I had been labeled a failure to thrive baby.

The good news was that my parents were about to save a bundle on college; the bad news was that I was likely to be dead within nine months. Breathing was hard and it tuckered me out quick. If someone wanted to hold me, I was okay with sleeping on their chest for a few hours or more. I was so cool with it that one Sunday, while my father loudly hoped that the Raiders would cover the point spread, all I did was sleep on his chest. I don't remember how this visit went, but I had imagined the doctor taking a look at me, mulling over my symptoms in his mind and trying to piece them together into a diagnosis.

As my father recounts it, the doctor took off my diaper, I shit directly into his Rolex and he had a Eureka! Notice, I did not write shit on his Rolex. Any baby worth its salt can shit on a Rolex.

4 Must-Read Books That Revolve Around Cystic Fibrosis

Only babies that are covered in salt can shit in a Rolex. Unfazed, the doctor simply announced that he suspected I had Cystic Fibrosis.

Cystic Fibrosis is not one of those things that you get by licking door knobs or sharing spoons. If you don't have it now, you're never going to get it.

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As my understanding of it goes, when your mommy and daddy go to the Baby Depot, they each have to hand the stork 23 chromosomes. These chromosomes are sent to the processing plant, where they are paired up and become the blueprint for a baby. If by some chance both your mommy and daddy handed the stork a defective 7th chromosome, you'll come out of the factory with CF. On that 7th chromosome, there's a little section that contains the cystic fibrosis transmembrane conductance regulator gene or CFTR.

This gene regulates the transmission of sodium, chloride and water through cells and promotes thin, loose mucus. When there is a mutation of the CFTR gene, the flow of sodium, chloride and water is blocked and the mucus remains thick and sticky. Depending on which one of the many glorious mutations of the CFTR gene you end up with, your symptoms will vary.

But no matter what flavor you get, this thick mucus causes a lot of problems in the lungs, because it just doesn't move. Bacteria love it, as do various particles and ne'er do wells. Mucus can also cause trouble with the pancreas, blocking the flow of digestive enzymes and leading to that fiery orange liquid that erupted from my tiny asshole and, later, my larger asshole. Aside from ass liquid, how can you tell someone has CF?

Since people with Cystic Fibrosis have a problem moving sodium and chloride through cells and glands, they end up with a high amount of sodium and chloride in their sweat. This sweat is collected and sent off to a laboratory so they can take a look at its salt content.

Your bundle of joy has Cystic. This action might not be possible to undo.

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Are you sure you want to continue? Upload Sign In Join. Save For Later. Ep 24 Zika: Rumors and Rumours. Ep 23 Opening a can of Hookworms.

Welcome to Breathe In: A Cystic Fibrosis Podcast

Ep 21 Measles: The Worst Souvenir. Ep 20 Prions: Apocalypse Cow. Ep 19 Scurvy: Thanks a lot, evolution.

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Listen Top Shows Blog. In Channel. Ep 36 Shades of Syphilis Ep 35 Lyme Disease: I'd like to check you for ticks Ep 33 Chytrid: The Silent Forest Ep 32 Ask the Erins Ep 31 Giardia: Gerardia Ep 26 Vaccines part 1: Let's hear it for Maurice This week we talk all things cystic fibrosis, from salty sweaty tests to European folklore, from Bell Beaker culture to gene therapy.

Can't Eat, Can't Breathe and Other Ways Cystic Fibrosis Has F#$%*d Me

Oh, and the best part? You can also find his music at allhallowsevil.


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But what if the forest were suddenly, inexplicably, silent? In the s scientists started noticing the forests becoming quieter as amphibian populations around the globe began to decline -- rapidly. Today we are joined by Dr. Taegan McMahon from the University of Tampa to discuss our first ever wildlife disease: chytridiomycosis. Chytrid fungus, or Bd for short, has wreaked havoc on amphibian populations for the last several decades, and researchers are still trying to find a way to stop it. Podcast Series. Focus on the Family Parenting Podcast. Today Finished.

Ep 34 Cystic Fibrosis: Complete Somatic Rebellion

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